Monday, November 21, 2011


Crappy things that happened to me today:

  • After hauling @ss to get to school in time for Large’s Poetry Reading, I spent the duration of the morning chasing Small around, trying to keep his sticky little hands off the hallway display of papier mache volcanoes and playing this game: 
“hi Mommy.”
“hi baby.”
“HI Mommy.”
“hi baby.”
“HI Mommy!”
“hi baby.”

      We coulda played this at home.

Now offering Parenting Lessons.
Free of charge.  Aisle 7.

  • During my weekly trip to my Place of Worship, Target, an employee who clearly is the epitome of Parenting and has more knowledge on how to raise my child than I do, pointed out that Small was standing on a chair in the café “and he could fall hurt himself.”  
         “Oh no, he’s fine.  Thanks!” I replied, kindly.

         And then he fell. 

        We need to work on his timing.

  • I found out that the sleep study the allergist recommended and said would cost “maybe $180,” is really going to cost closer to $2000 out-of-pocket.  I mean, how important is it for the kid to be able to breathe clearly really?

  • Medium had a temper tantrum, slammed the door into the door stop and put a hole in it.  We obviously need to work on his anger management.  He was not happy when I took $20 out of his bank to ostensibly cover part of the cost of the door.  Enter tantrum #2.  But you know what?  Apparently I have failed to teach my children about consequences and it’s about d*mn time they learn.  If I hear Hubby say “this is why we can’t have nice things!” one more time I’m going to have to break it to him that he sounds just like my dad.

  • When I dropped Farley off at the vet so we could board him over the weekend, I had to endure condescending stares, just because Small was playing inside the kitty crate.

Ugh.  Yes, I said crappy.  Not tragic.  Not life-threatening.  Not devastating.  Just crappy.  Sometimes a gal’s just gotta vent a little.

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Be nice, kids.