Thursday, November 3, 2011

BoyMommy for President!

Top Ten Reasons I Could Never Be the President:

1.  I’m pretty sure it would be frowned upon if I took naps in the middle of the day.  “Wha?  There’s a crisis in the Middle East?  Whew!  I gotta take a snoozer.  See ya in a couple hours.

2.  I have an irrational need for people to like me.  If a poll came out that said my approval ratings were down, I’m pretty sure it would hurt my feelings and I’d start crying.  Which leads me to . . .

3.  I tend to cry in stressful situtions.  It’s how I relieve stress.  I recognize, however, that an all-out fit of hysterics might be little comfort to the good people of America.

4.  I’m pretty sure all those people with good smarts on the CNN could make me look like a dumbass.

5.  You know how J Crew got a boost in sales after Michele Obama sported some of their duds?  I don’t think the nation is ready for a President who wears Target tshirts. 

6.  I can guarantee I would NOT balance the budget.  I can’t balance my checkbook.  I haven’t done math in a checkbook since 1998 when Hubby and I got engaged.  I agreed to marry him because my parents refused to balance my checkbook anymore, and, well, somebody’s gotta do it and it sure as hell ain’t gonna be me.

7.  I’m not so good at the Geography either.

Oh, honey . . . NO.
8.  Newsweek and Time would have to add a Style section, just so they could feature photos of me in various bad fashion choices, a la the Glamour Don’t pages.

9.  I’m horrified at the notion that the front page of the Washington Post would easily have a plethora of unflattering photos from which to choose.  Look, here she is eating french fries!  Here she is tripping over her own feet because she’s wearing those damn clogs again!  Here she is spending our tax dollars at the Starbucks drive-thru!

10.  If my family had to ride in a bus across the country in order to drum up votes, I’m pretty sure Hubby and I would strangle each other somewhere around Kansas.  

1 comment:

Be nice, kids.