Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Pinterest Peer Pressure

Motherhood is like being a hamster on a wheel; you're running as fast as you can but you're getting NOWHERE.  Hubby and I were talking last night about how frustrated and restless I feel, partly because there's no end-product to show for the work I do during the day.  The "product" will be adult children who are contributing members of society.  Or at least not in jail.  Is it revealing that I feel that I don't need to have my children attend Harvard, but I teach them at an early age that they are NEVER to ride in the back of a police car?  Perhaps my expectations are too low . . .

I've been increasingly frustrated lately with the Facebook/Pinterest phenomenon.  It's a given that Mark Zuckerberg invented stole the idea for Facebook in order to make me feel inferior to 391 of my closest friends.  Pinterest is like Facebook on crack.  Apparently every other mother in the universe has time to make "busy books" for their toddlers using leftover scraps of fabric, no doubt from the adorable ruffled pajama bottoms they made yesterday.  Then she makes a delicious, nutritious meal from THE best (!!!) Mac & Cheese recipe ever.  And finally she makes teacher appreciation gifts using nothing but vinyl, burlap, and an old egg carton.

I am a complete failure.  THIS is what I could add to Pinterest:

Board:  FOR THE HOME


Decorate your countertop with homework papers, mail, and board books that are being aired out after your toddler climbs on the kitchen table and spills Mommy's Precious coffee on them.

Board:  PARENTING IDEAS


Go ahead.  Play ball in the house.  See what happens.  Can't reach the top of the fridge?  Well then I guess you don't play ball in the house anymore, now do you?

Board:  STORAGE


Add a three-hook shelf (one for each child) by the door, where your children will hang their coats and backpacks and neatly line up their shoes.  Just like at my house.

Board:  FOR THE HOME


Decorate your Laundry Room.  With laundry.  Piles and piles of laundry.

Board:  STORAGE


Need a convenient location to store those pesky door stops?  How about the bathroom sink?  Notice 5 toothbrushes for 2 boys, an accident waiting to happen the cap off the mouthwash, and toilet paper still on the roll because they don't use toilet paper.

Board:  PARENTING IDEAS


Help me out mommies.  I know YOU, of all people, know what this is.  Is this or is this not the universal signal for take your sh*t upstairs?  It's simple.  You need not make a special trip; just grab your stuff on your way up.  I took this photo on day 3, folks.

I realize I have done you a disservice, mommies, because now you feel the added pressure to run your household as efficiently as I do, and for this I apologize.

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8 comments:

  1. I've decided that my pinterest page shows who I want to be - it's nothing like who I really am. And, yes, it depresses me to see how cute and efficient other people's houses and lives are. Love your blog!

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  2. I've never read your blog before but I love it! I am a single mom of three boys myself so I can relate to most of this! Keep it up because it helps me realize I'm not alone!

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  3. Freaking love you. I raised 2 boys - single mom - youngest is about to go to UVA to play football. Oldest is sophomore at JMU. Makes me sound pretty successful as a mom, right? I'll just skip over the details and various photos that might send child services running to my home for retroactive bad parenting.

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  4. Have I told you lately I love the shit out of you?

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  5. I think we all need to take pics of our house... even just our bottom step... so we all realize THIS is what ALL our houses look like right now... Does anyone actually have kids who ever take the bottom step pile UP the stairs?? Cause on day 5 when the entire step is covered to the point we all have to STEP over the sh*t - I cave and start carrying it up myself... I'm a push over.

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  6. I know this is way after the fact, but I just stumbled across your blog (and I already forgot how the hell I got here) but this post has me going singing praises to the "oh-I'm-not-the-only-one-with-a-hook-for-each-child-that-doesn't-effing-use-it" gods! That and the balls on the fridge...excellent idea!

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Be nice, kids.