I am not a huge fan of New Year’s Resolutions, mostly because I hate setting myself up for failure. Don’t you think if I really thought I could lose 10 lbs. by simply resolving to do so starting January 1st I would have done so by now?
honey badger and which is titled "Guess Who Else Doesn’t Give a Sh*t?"
Karma, if you’re out there, please help me out a little. I try to be a good person. (Relax, I didn’t say nice person, I said good. There’s a difference. This is how I earned the nickname Sweet B*tch in college.)
So here’ goes:
1. Lose weight
I know everyone says this, but I really need to lose weight. I remember joining Weight Watchers once . . . yes, I’ve joined MANY times . . . and hearing a woman say her goal was to lose 9 lbs. NINE lbs.? I don’t mean to undermine her goal, but to someone who needs to lose, um, more than 9 lbs., that sounds like a good night at Outback, not a goal weight.
The thing is, diabetes runs in my family. I don’t want my kids to have the fat mom, and I currently weigh more than I did when I was pregnant.
Although looking at it now, maybe my
Big Hair just made the rest of my
body look smaller . . .
2. Prepare and Eat Well-Balanced Meals
It’s no secret that I don’t like to cook. I like to eat. Cooking takes too long. Since Hubby often works late or has evening meetings, I usually make something quick for the boys. Then I end up eating remnants of grilled cheese or cold spaghetti. I have turned my kitchen into a restaurant where each diner places his own order. Since no one likes the same thing, I make grilled cheese for one, macaroni and cheese for another, etc. Notice there are no requests for vegetables. I have created these monsters, and I need to put an end to my family’s poor eating habits because I am the main culprit.
3. Spend less time on Facebook
Facebook is such a timesuck. Because I’m so
nosy curious, I spend way too much time
snooping around in other people’s business. When I think of all the creative things I could be doing
with what little free time I have, it makes me cringe to know that I waste it
by cyber-stalking people I barely know.
Plus, I have a bad habit of believing things I read on Facebook, like
how happy/fulfilled/successful everybody is. I need to work on my own happiness, and Facebook makes NO contribution to my overall well-being.
4. Stop saying “I’m sorry”
I don’t mean that I need to stop apologizing when/if I’m wrong. I mean when someone backs into me in the aisle at the grocery store, why is my first instinct to apologize? I feel like I’m apologizing for taking up space, and that ain’t right.
5. Start putting more effort into my appearance
Perhaps this sounds shallow, but I feel so much better when I look better. I am not the kind of woman who can roll out of bed and look all fresh and eager to begin my day. Just ask any of my neighbors who have bus stop duty in the morning. I am aging, just like everyone else, (even though I have a firm plan in place in which I will remain 39 forever. Not that I’m 39. Because I’m not. I’m 38.) Anyhoo . . . I need to keep up with my hair, my skin, and my style. (And perhaps shave my legs a little more often.) There’s no reason for me to be wearing pastel-colored elasticized pants and embroidered blouses just yet. I remember thinking my mom looked so pretty when she got dressed up and wore makeup, which she didn’t do often because she stayed at home with us kids. I don’t want my kids to look at me and think, man, Mom cleans up real nice, when she washes her hair. I mean I'm never going to be a Ginger; I'll always be a MaryAnne. But right now I look as if MaryAnne got trapped on Gilligan's Island with a keg full o' beer and a never-ending supply of Doritos.
So there ya have it. My goals probably aren’t much different from anyone else’s. If I decide not to run the Honeybadger post next year, I can probably re-post this one. It will probably be just as relevant then as it is today. Maybe I'm having a mid-life crisis . . .