The boys have been out of school for summer “vacation” for 10 days now, including weekends.
This is what we have done so far:
1. Medium gave the neighbor kid a black eye. They accidentally bumped heads the day school got out and Medium’s best buddy got a black eye, which he found pretty impressive. The ladies love battle scars, ya know.
2. Small got a bloody nose at the church picnic. He and his brothers were on the playground on the other side of the building, so by the time he ran around to where we were talking to other grow-ups, blood was gushing out of his nose and onto his teeth, where he would wipe it with his bare arm and then onto his shirt. This is why I can’t dress them in nice things.
3. Large broke his foot. It was a freak playground accident where he bent his toes back and broke 2 bones on the top of his foot. Currently he is sporting some fancy footwear that he describes as "grandma." If ever I thought I was not his waitress/butler/short-order cook, I sure as hell am all those things now.
4. Small put potpourri in the toilet. I know this because I saw the potpourri floating on top, so I stuck my hand in the bowl and pulled it out. The toilet was still clogged though, which leads me to believe that perhaps he had put other inappropriate things in the toilet as well. We had to direct guests to use a different bathroom because apparently a non-functioning toilet does not deter little boys from using it when nature calls. As a side note, you’d think that the potpourri would have made this whole adventure smell much better than it did.
|yes, it's white.|
5. Small drew on the carpet. The white carpet. With blue sharpie. I certainly don’t mean to stifle his creativity, but I prefer art projects that don’t require that I scrub vigorously with a toothbrush once they’re complete.
Ten days down; 81 more to go.