Jury Duty . . . yes, please!

Earlier this week I received a summons for jury duty.  

Can you imagine?  An entire day of sitting with my book or a few magazines just perusing at my leisure?  And they have coffee there!  I could drink caffeinated goodness all day long.  When and if they call my name, I'd get to parade in front of well-educated (presumably) people who would decide if the former High School English teacher / Stay-at-Home Mom / Mommy blogger with a wicked sense of humor is the gal they want deciding the fate of their court case.

I could put on makeup and wash my hair and wear something other than my sweat shorts and a ponytail.  I could spend the day with other grown-ups, (ALL of whom must be at least 18-years-old,) listen to grown-up topics, have grown-up discussions, and make grown-up decisions.  

Books?  Coffee?  Being ALL UP in somebody else's business?  Sign me up!

Alas, I have these little people at home who need someone to pack their lunches, remind them to please-for-the-love-of-pete close the garage door, and nurture their little souls all day long.  Jurors are paid $30 a day for their service.  That only pays for 3 hours of child care.  

I apologize America, but I will be unable to fulfill my civic duty.  I faxed the following this morning:

43434 My Street

Somewhere, VA  20000

Friday, August 14, 2012

County Jury Management Office

PO Box 550

Somewhere, VA  20000

To Whom It May Concern:

I have been summoned for jury duty and instructed to report on Thursday, September 27.  My juror ID is #000123456, group # 0012. 

I am a stay-at-home mom to three children, one of whom is not yet school age.  While I would love a day that did not require me to wipe noses or other body parts, I do not have child care.  Hiring a sitter in this economy would require dipping into my children’s college fund.

I can be reached at 703.777.7777

Thank you for your consideration.

Sincerely,

Boy Mommy