Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Failure to Adhere to the BoyMommy Flip Flop Policy

As faithful readers of the BoyMommy blog, you are well aware that I have a Strict Flip-Flop Policy.  In summary, if your feet are gnarled, malformed, disfigured, or otherwise unkempt, one should not be wearing flip flops.  Ever. 

I realize feet, in general, are a means to an end and are usually not a person’s best or most attractive feature.  However, I believe it is an individual’s responsibility . . . to the universe . . . to use one’s best judgment when choosing appropriate footwear. 

During my recent trip to Best Buy I noticed a woman who apparently DID NOT GET THE MEMO regarding my Strict Flip Flop Policy, which I feel should, in fact, be made into law.  I’ma gonna write me a letter to Obama and tell him to quit lounging around and fortheloveo’pete DO something about the important, time-sensitive issue of gnarly feet.

This woman was wearing flip flops and clearly should not have been.  Naturally I took a photo of her feet as an example of Failure to Adhere to the BoyMommy Flip Flop Policy.  The problem is, I keep looking at the photo.  It’s like a train-wreck of Kardashian proportions – I can’t look away.  So I’m going to post it here on the World Wide Internets in hopes that releasing the photo into the wild will somehow delete its image from my brain. 

I’m sure this woman is very nice/funny/a good dancer (and all those other things people say about someone who has a noticeable flaw in personality or appearance.)  These traits do not trump nasty-*ss feel, however.

WARNING!!!  It ain’t pretty.

I mean, she went through the effort to paint her toe nails, so she is vain enough to make SOME effort, but there comes a time when you have to accept that no amount of nail polish in the entire world will improve the above image.  

Please, I beg of you. . .  when I get older and/or lose my faculties (whichever comes first) do NOT let me leave the house in open-toed shoes if my feet are nasty.  Send me out into the world with black knee-high socks and Birkenstocks before you make me subject innocent people to HammerToe.


  1. WTF? It looks like someone took a sledgehammer to her foot.

  2. BOTH feet were like that. (I checked.)

  3. I told you about the gal I saw last year at 103rd Street with six toes on each foot, toenails painted teal? I thought, "BoyMommy would be appalled." I thought it was cool.

  4. I'd like to give her the benefit of the doubt...that maybe these were the only shoes she could wear with feet like that but I'm still more worried about the image burned in my brain than her comfort.

  5. Sorry feet issues bug you so much, Boy mommy, but please have some sympathy on those of us who struggle to find shoes that accommodate feet & toe troubles. Birkenstock sandals are the most versatile and painless options I've found in 20 years of dealing with arthritis mutilans, and unfortunately, one can still see I have issues. I don't mean to make you uncomfortable, but I'm not going to be in pain just 'cause someone can't deal with how my feet look.


Be nice, kids.