Sunday, January 23, 2011

The Zen of the Nugget.

Here’s a little nugget (pun intended) about my recent experience at yoga class.

It seems I have made a new BFF at the gym, because I know A LOT more about one of my fellow yogis than I ever wanted to know.

It all started very innocently.  I was a tad late to yoga class; it happens.  So I had to grab an open spot towards the back, and that spot just happened to be situated behind a man.  I’m sure he is a lovely individual, although I might suggest he spend some time looking for appropriate yoga-wear.  

The class worked through various poses like downward-facing dog and warrior and cobra. 

But then came the bow pose.

Are you familiar with the bow pose? 

Bow pose involves lying on your stomach, bending your knees, and then gently grabbing both your ankles with your hands so that you look like a bow and arrow, hence the name.  See how that works? 

I look JUST like this when I do it . . . .

we were all very relaxed . . . sloooowly bend your knees . . . then geeeeently grasp your ankles with your hands . . . . feeeeeel the stretch . . . releeeeeease the tension in your body . . . .just leeeeeet it goooooo . . . now bring your gaze forward . . .

My eyes!  MY EYES!!!!!

You see, the lovely gentleman in front of me was wearing loose-fitting gym shorts, and there to the left (in case you were wondering “how’s it hangin’”) were his, um, nether-regions.  BOTH of his nether-regions.  Just layin’ there. 

HOW am I supposed to harness my chi when this guy’s hunk o’ junk is peeking at me out of his little red gym-shorts?  I could no longer hear the yoga instructor because in my head I was hearing that Mrs. Doubtfire "well, helloooooo!" voice.

It was like a train wreck . . . I REALLY wanted to look away, but my mind kept trying to tell me that surely that’s not what I’m seeing, right?  Is it?  No.  No!  Okay, maybe . . . Oh. My. Gah. 

Now I’m suffering some PTSD flashbacks, complete with squinty eyes, a mild headache, and the shakes.  It was my own personal VietNamaste.  


  1. Found your blog through Rants from Mommyland. Always looking for good mommy humor! Helps me know I'm not alone...I have 3 (6yo boy, 2.5yo girl, 15mo girl). I feel crazy most days! Loved this post! Had me shaking laughing! Your blog is awesome!!


Be nice, kids.