Wednesday, September 8, 2010

I'm back!

Don't be thinking that I'll be posting every day, because it's not gonna happen. I have a life. Not really, but the clothes ain't gonna fold themselves.

We had a traumatic 2nd day of school. I was all proud of myself for getting everyone out of the house and up to the bus stop on time, but then Large got stung by a wasp. With all the screaming that ensued, you would have thought it was the Apocalypse. (That's a Biblical Bad Thing, right? I wouldn't know, since I get most of my religious knowledge from Veggie Tales DVD's, and they didn't make a Bob-and-Larry-Meet-Disaster episode.) Anyhow, I sent Medium off on the bus by himself, and when I finally dropped Large off at school I didn't see Medium wandering aimlessly down the hallways, so I'm assuming he made it to class okay. The problem with having to drive Large to school was that it messed up my routine. My routine that I developed yesterday, that is. The plan is to take everyone up to the bus stop in my grungies, then come home and put Small down for a morning nap so I can shower. Without an audience. It's not as exciting and I don't get the verbal accolades for reaching all my nooks and crannies while washing, but it's generally a pleasant experience to be able to shower in peace. Since I brought Large back home for some ice, Benadryl, and sympathy, I didn't have a chance to shower before taking him to school. This, unfortunately for the staff at the elementary school, means that I went out IN PUBLIC in my sweat shorts. Anyone who has seen my backside knows that Mama needs pockets, so trust me when I say it weren't pretty. Plus I had no makeup on and my teeth felt like they were wearing little sweaters because I hadn't brushed them. My coffee breath kept people from getting too close anyway, so it's all good.

My Sister-in-Law, whom I affectionately call Boo Boo Chicken, (don't ask,) called while I was en route to Starbucks. It seems I got my Brother-in-Law, The Cluer, in trouble. Oopsies. Hubby developed this elaborate plan, (which involved me taking all three children on an errand, even though he has YET to do so since Small has joined us,) in which I was to meet Cluer's neighbor at the local grocery store so that I could pick up baseball tickets for today's Nationals game. In chatting with Boo Boo, I said something about Hubby meeting Cluer for the game. Except Boo Boo thought Cluer was "working his ass off" in Richmond while she stayed home and juggled school/activities/homework with her three rambunctious boys. Folks, there's a reason why Cluer works for a cabinet company and not the CIA. Worst secret-keeper EVER. How, exactly, did he think that a plot involving his brother, his lovely and charming sister-in-law, and his neighbor would NOT get back to his wife? Especially when he neglected to tell the key players that it was a secret? Dumbass. Plus, he's driving from Richmond to DC to Richmond to Winchester. Look at a map, because clearly Cluer has not; it's complicated.

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Be nice, kids.