Wednesday, September 4, 2013

I. am. 40!

I’ve never understood the grown-up aversion to birthdays, other than the fact that you indeed get OLDER with each one.

I friggin’ LOVE my birthday.  Always have.  An entire day that is designated for ME, my awesomeness, and the very fact that I was brought into this world?  Yes, please.

I am 40.  


Four zero.  

You know those adults who “hate” their birthdays and all the attention?  I call bullsh*t.  I don’t even bother pretending I don’t like the attention – just ask ANYONE WHO HAS EVER KNOWN ME.  Bring it on.  I will concede that I detest the restaurant-birthday-sing-along, mostly because I used to wait tables and I know how annoying it is to sing Happy Birthday, or some "clever" version thereof, to some jackass in a sombrero.  Now, if you want to hand me the mike and hand me a playlist of obscure 80’s country songs, I’m yer gal.
I think this is going to be the year I stop trying to be thinner than I am.  I figure if I live to be 80 years old, I will have spent half my life trying to fit into single-digit sized jeans. 

F*ck it.  I’m fat, people.  I am curvy, I have a beer gut (that I’ve worked really hard for, thank you,) I have stretch marks from bearing three healthy boys (who now drive me bat-sh*t crazy,) I have boobs that enter a room 15 minutes before the rest of me does, and I have two chins.  

I like pizza and beer and donuts.  They taste good. 

You know what?  I’m tired.  My kids love me; they love snuggling up to me on the couch because I’m “soft.”  Hubby likes to watch tv with his head in my lap because it’s comfy.  I try to exercise periodically and eat my veggies and drink plenty of water, but it’s been FORTY years . . . I just don’t think I’m meant to be any different than what I am. 

So there ya have it.  You may have surmised (because of the drunk-sailor vocabulary) that I’ve had a couple of these:

 It’s my birthday, yo.  Cheers!  


  1. Happy birthday! Enjoy those nummy looking glasses of wine!

  2. Happy birthday! Enjoy life,the love of the family and the glasses of wine that come with it! Lots of love


Be nice, kids.