Thursday, February 14, 2013

The Recorder: Next Stop, Carnegie Hall!


The day has arrived. 

It’s a rite of passage that all 4th grade parents dread. 

No, it’s not the family life / sex talk at school, it’s not frog dissection, and it’s not addition and subtraction of fractions.

It’s the recorder.

Large brought his recorder home from school yesterday.  I knew this day was coming . . . we pre-ordered the recorder and he decided he wanted a red one with a blue strap.  Now if that is not the epitome of cool, I don't know what is.  Can’t you picture James Dean with a red recorder hanging from a blue strap around his neck?  Or Pink, or Lady Gaga, or Madonna? 

Totally.  Badass.



Large proceeded to play me a “tune” on his recorder.  Apparently it was “Hot Cross Buns” but it sounded like one of the following:
a.  someone swinging cats around in a pillowcase
b.  a raccoon who is giving birth
c.  a drunk piccolo player
d.  a cat-swinging, pregnant, drunk raccoon playing piccolo
Please, make it stop!

Large was so excited about his recorder, I almost felt bad for telling him to “please make it stop.”  I suppose a good mother would have told him it sounded lovely, but I just didn’t have it in me.

Lest you think I’m exaggerating . . . Large told me “one of the deaf kids in class was almost crying because it was hurting his ears.”  At the risk of being insensitive, it’s not a good sign when the kid who can’t hear starts feeling thankful that he only has four fully-functioning senses.

I don’t know how the elementary school music teacher makes it through her day without hittin’ the sauce.  God love that woman.




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Be nice, kids.