Large has a crush on a girl.
How do I know this? She’s ALL he talked about yesterday afternoon.
As soon as he got off the bus yesterday he told me there is a new girl in his class. She’s from Texas. Then when Daddy called from work, Large told him about the new girl. Before bed, he wrote her a note welcoming her to class and he taped two trading cards from Texas sports teams. He got advice from Daddy on how he should word his note.
I’m not ready.
Large’s first friend was a girl, Anna. Anna was born 10 days after Large was and they played “together” as toddlers do . . . meaning in the same room and with the same toys, but not necessarily with each other. In first grade, Large had a “girlfriend,” Lexi. She was his girlfriend because he said so, and that was it. Both Large and Lexi have since moved on.
But now it seems like he really has a crush. He’s eight!
All of a sudden, I see his life flashing before me. He was my sweet baby who cried all the friggin’ time. We did the Mommy and Me Swim Lessons / Baby Sign Language / Gymboree classes. He went to preschool, then Kindergarten, and already he’s in third grade . . . halfway through elementary school. He’s more independent every day, (although if he’d get off his duff and pour his own milk I’d be a happy girl.)
Soon he’ll really be into girls. He’ll get all greasy and pimply and disgusting. His clothes will start to stink. He’ll start driving and taking algebra. He’ll have hormones and he’ll develop urges. He’ll graduate from high school atthetopofhisclassandgetabaseballscholarship and he’ll go to college. He’s going to leave me.
Oh my God, I think I just passed out there for a second.
On the one hand, I realize that with every independent step they take, I’m getting a little bit of my own life back, but on the other, I know they’ll never need me as much as they do right now. Every day they need me a little less. I love that when Medium had a crappy day yesterday, he crawled into my lap for a snuggle and some comfort, because no one loves you like your mother does. No one. I want to be their lap forever.
Remind me of this the next time they’re crawling all over me and I growl "for-the-love-o’-pete-git-off-me." Remind me that I need to slow down every once in a while and let them need me, because it won't last forever.