Well, we did it.
And this time, when I say “we,” I mean Hubby.
Last weekend, I was in the basement
hiding out organizing
when I heard insatiable laughter coming from upstairs. I listened carefully and discovered
that Hubby was telling the boys, ages 8 and 6, about the Birds and the Bees.
So I thought, I’ll go upstairs and join the conversation like a mature adult and prove to our offspring that we are a true partnership, husband and wife, co-parents in every sense of the word.
Whew, that was funny. Let me pause and wipe this tear from my eye!
Um, no. I thought aw hayl no. I’m staying down here.
A while later, the boys came downstairs to see what I was doing, and I was sure I was going to be barraged with laughter, snickers, and possibly pointing fingers and hushed whispers. At the very least, I thought they would look at me in disgust at the inhumanities they had just discovered their mother partakes in.
But no. Not a peep.
When I got the lowdown from Hubby, he said he explained it all in an age-appropriate manner - he discussed how girls and boys are different, things that might be happening with their bodies in a few years, how exactly a male and female do the S-E-X, and all that scientific technical stuff about sperm and eggs and whatnot.
A few nights later, as I was getting the boys ready for their bath, Large got the giggles. Reminiscent of that scene from Kindergarten Cop, he said to me “boys have penises and girls have vaginas.”
“I know,” was all I could think of to say.
Medium chimed in. “Mom!” he said. “Lean down. I need to whisper you something.”
I leaned down and he whispered, “Daddy told us where babies come from.”
“That’s good,” I said, because I’m all good with the words when I’m nervous and/or uncomfortable.
“Why is that good?” he asked, confused.
“Well, now you know,” was my response. “And you don’t have to wonder any more.”
So that was it. Hubby reminded them that where-babies-come-from is not an appropriate topic of discussion on the bus, at school, at Cub Scouts, at basketball practice, etc. Just as a courtesy, however, I did send an email to my neighbor whose son plays with Large, just in case they get any questions of the bird and bee variety. It’s funny though . . . he hasn’t been over to play in a while.