Tuesday, January 7, 2014

The Happiest Place on Earth

The BoyMommy family just returned from a trip to Orlando.  We had a great time, but even Disney World is not perfect, despite what those television advertisements with the smiley, tan, happy family might say.  

I found myself repeating the mantra "It's the happiest place on earth.  It's the happiest place on earth.  But it's supposed to be THE HAPPIEST place on Earth!"  

Things that bug me:

1.  Families who walk 5 abreast while holding hands.  Move along, Waltons.

2.  People who stop suddenly to look at a map or to take a photo.  I will ram your ankles with my stroller.  Just FYI.

3.   The fact that we traveled to sunny Florida with shorts and t-shirts and the weather was cold, cloudy, and rainy.  Mother Nature, you are a fickle b*tch.

4.  A Photographer wants to snap your picture every 15 feet, but when you go to view the photos, only 2 of the 6 employees behind the counter are “trained” in the art of PhotoPass downloading. 

5.   People whose personal space requirements are a few cubic feet smaller than mine.  Back up; I will cut you.

6.  Grown-ups who roll their eyes when they hear a child having a meltdown.  You’re at Disney World.  There are A LOT of kids here.  One or two of them are going to miss naptime and/or stay up past their bedtime because we-paid-a-sh*tload-of-money-for-these-tickets-we’re-staying-until-closing-time-dammit.  Take a deep breath, remember that kids get cranky, and keep your eye-rolling to yourself.

7.  Seriously, Walt.  I just paid $15 out of desperation so I could rent a stroller for my exhausted preschooler . . . you can’t hook us up with a seat that reclines?

8.  I just saw that Mickey t-shirt at Target for 7 bucks.

9.   Kissy people in line.  I don’t want to have to cover my son’s eyes as you writhe against each other as if one of you is a soldier on leave.

10.   Left-side-of-the-road walkers.  I realized Disney World attracts tourists from all over and that “rules” are different in various parts of the world.  But when you are the only one walking against a throng of people going in the other direction, move out' the way.  

1 comment:

Be nice, kids.