Monday, January 21, 2013

Three Poorly-Mannered Children at the Grocery Store

Happy MLK/Inauguration Day, yo.

The powers that be scheduled a teacher workday last Friday, and today, of course, was a holiday, so we had a four-day weekend.  This would have been nice if we had someplace to visit, but alas we have been home all weekend, carting the children to and from various activities and birthday parties. 

I am ready for them to go back to school.

Today we had to make a pit stop at the grocery store because I had to pick up prescriptions.  As I have stated before, my favoritest thing in the whole wide world is to take all three of my children to the grocery store.

When we arrived in the parking lot, I turned off the ignition and gave them a warning that we were picking up prescriptions and fruit and that was it.  (Silently I repeated my mantra:  thou shalt not hit the wine aisle, thou shalt not hit the wine aisle, thou shalt not hit the wine aisle.)  All three insisted on riding in the cart.  Have you ever tried to bank a corner in the grocery store while pushing 150 lbs. on four wheels? 

We got out of there in record time and I was patting myself on the back for being so efficient and for refusing to turn down the snack aisle.  I instructed Large and Medium to buckle in as I removed the bags from the cart and prepared to take Small around to his side of the Swagger Wagon.  I had to wait a second though, because another family had pulled into the spot next to us and their doors were open as they exited their car. 

A mother and two children got out, and the mother giggled as I rounded the corner with Small. 

“You just made my day,” she exclaimed.

Hmmmm . . . I thought.  She’s enchanted by my infectious smile?  She recognizes the Swagger Wagon and knows me to be a safe and courteous driver?  I have hit celebrity status and she is thrilled to be in the very presence of that hilarious blogger known as BoyMommy?

“How’s that?” I asked, prepared to shrug her off with an awww, shucks and a modest eye roll.

“I just heard your son ask your other son ‘do you want to lick my butt.’  I have two more children at home and I’m just so relieved to know that someone else’s family is just like ours!” she explained.

Of course.  I replied, “well, I’m certainly glad I could be here for you Sister!” 

I knew it.  My life and my ill-behaved, potty-mouthed children make other people feel better about their own lives.  My work here is done.

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Be nice, kids.