Friday, December 28, 2012

BoyMommy Resolutions I Can Keep

It’s almost 2013, and I have finally figured out that I am setting my expectations too high.  So this year, I’m keepin’ it real.  This year, I will

  • Not lose any weight.  In fact, I might gain a little or I might stay the same, but I certainly will not lose any.

  • Ignore “that smell” coming from the general direction of the boys’ bathroom.

  • Continue to be the only woman in my social circle who wears a skirted swimsuit.

  • Celebrate my annual 39th birthday, for the 2nd year in a row.

  • Visit Target at least once a week, if not more.

  • Wear my bus stop sweat pants whenever I damn well please, and I will ignore the rolling eyes and the suggestion that I burn them.

  • Allow my children to wear holey jeans and mismatched sweatpants to school.  If they don’t care, why should I?

  • Not volunteer for anything else, thus freeing up more time for me to finish watching all 9 seasons of Greys Anatomy.

  • Cultivate a relationship with my dust bunnies, whereby I give them names, attribute personalities to them, and treat them as houseguests instead of feeling guilty about their existence.

  • Take afternoon snoozers and rationalize my habit by reminding myself and anyone who criticizes me that my children get home from school at 3, so technically I’m workin’ swing shift.

1 comment:

  1. I can get behind those resolutions, myself. Except that my snoozers generally start about 10 am and last until 2 pm so that I can be coherent at 3:30 when my IHP gets home.


Be nice, kids.